Can we tenuously link 3 movies to the happenings in MotoGP’s visit to Le Mans? Of course we can!
The Action
Movie: Con Air
Nicolas Cage is at his deranged late-90’s best in this movie where his wrongly-convicted hero has to fight back when criminals hijack the plane that’s flying them to a new federal prison. The plot is ludicrous, the stunts are jaw-dropping and the cast including the likes of Steve Buscemi and John Malkovich are way too good for this kind of nonsense, which just makes Con Air all the more awesome. When Nic Cage tells you in an unconvincing Alabama accent to “put tha bunneh back in the bahx”, you’d better put that damned bunny back in the box, pronto.
Thanks to Fast Freddie’s reign of terror, everybody in MotoGP is a criminal! And there have been more than a few wrongly-convicted, too. At Le Mans, the action was non-stop. Plenty of riders took one-way flights through the air, although unlike in the movie they came down on the track or the gravel rather than ridiculously crash-landing on the Las Vegas Strip.
The Drama
Movie: Million Dollar Baby
Clint Eastwood is his usual grumbly old self as a boxing trainer who reluctantly trains wannabe women’s boxer Hilary Swank. She’s absolutely clueless, but quickly learns to smack women around like Chris Brown.
We saw some women’s boxing in a French gravel trap when Pecco and Maverick went at it. Luckily neither of them had a grumpy old boxing trainer on their side and nobody was harmed, apart from those of us who strained muscles howling with laughter at their handbag-swinging, January Sales antics.
The Horror
Movie: As Above, So Below
This indie horror pic sees an unfeasibly cute archaeologist persuading a bunch of people to help her find a rare artefact in the catacombs beneath the city of Paris. The trip turns into a nightmare as everything down there is confusing and wrong and the exit isn’t where it was a minute ago. They eventually realize everything’s reversed so they have to descend deeper through the labyrinth to escape.
Everything at Le Mans was upside down and backwards (along with half the riders). Pecco caused a massive crash with a completely insane kamikaze move, while Marc Marquez meekly threw his bike at the scenery when under mild pressure. Marc’s brother rammed Rossi’s brother. Someone did a Brad Binder on Brad Binder. And to top it all, despite all of the chaos and crashes, Fast Freddie didn’t make any particularly deranged decisions!