Winners
Ducati
Millions of bikes and conscript riders on the grid. Manufacturer wide team orders. Ignoring drunk driving violations. And more unsightly sticky-out bits than a baboon’s arse. 2022 was, finally, the year for Ducati that they took the rider’s world championship.
Pecco Bagnaia wobbled his way to his first World Championship and gave the Bolognaise based team their first success since Casey Stoner did it in 2007 – albeit unaided.
Losers
Fabio Quartaraarraro
The flagging Frenchman put on a display that was worthy of a champion on a bike that wasn’t worthy of MotoGP.
Fab Fab scrapped and battled bravely like he wasn’t French at all but in the end couldn’t quite do enough to win the race. However we all saluted his crusty croissant for those aggressive moves he put on his rival Bagnaia in the early stages.
Alex Rins
Alex ended his time at Suzuki with an absolutely brilliant victory after a strong season. Now, thanks to a bunch of quitting Japs, Rins is condemned to a LCR Honda – a bike so cursed that it would need the whole of the Vatican to exercise it.
Team Suzuki
Will be missed by us all and deserved better.
Anticipointment
“The feeling you get when your hopes are dashed after much anticipation – often associated with Formula One.”
We kind of all knew that Bagnaia was going to take the title. And we all knew with even more certainty that the race would be a bit lame. Maybe Quartarararo would crash on the first lap? Or just be mauled by the legions of Ducatis? Or maybe Bagnaia would escape off into the distance?
But what we got was actually far better than we could have hoped. Fabio was trying his absolute hardest and at one point looked like making it to the front. Meanwhile Bagnaia was struggling with the added pressure of being told a million times beforehand to not fall off.
Eventually the result was as predicted. But at least we had some fun.
Yamaha’s Franky Morbidelli contract
Yamaha signing Franco Morbidelli for a 2 year contract was a huge mistake. As was not adding a “if awful we can boot him out clause” in there. The disappointing outcome for Yamaha, a team already struggling, is they have to keep the lacklustre Italian in their team for 2023.
But the last kick into the contractually obliged teeth for Yamaha came in the final laps of the race. Franco had been his usual terrible self but found himself catching a shaky and nervous Pecco Bagnaia. The Ducati rider was understandably taking it easy and had dropped to 9th place and was slowing down with each and every lap.
So it was now Morbidelli’s turn to pass Bagnaia as he was lapping, for the first time in 24 months, faster than his countryman (and crucially) fellow VR46 rider. Only he didn’t. He instead chose to slow down and stay behind Pecco for the rest of the race.
Don’t believe us? Check the official MotoGP.com lap analysis. When Morbidelli caught Bagnaia his pace, mysteriously, fell instantly by 0.7 sec per lap. The exact same amount as he was catching Bagnaia and therefore the perfect amount to stay behind the Ducati rider.
Ultimately it wouldn’t have made any difference but it’s good for Yamaha to know that Franco is more loyal to his VR46 stablemates than to the team that pays his wage.
Not owning an air fryer
What? You don’t own an air fryer? Well then what you need is someone who owns one to tell you about how great they are. Not convinced? Well wait five minutes for the next person to tell you…
Sorry Goodbyes
Darryn Binder
Ended his unimpressive time in MotoGP where he’s spent most of it – in the gravel
Cal Crutchlow
Ended his impressive return in MotoGP where he’s spent most of it – in the gravel
Jack Miller
Ended his average time with Ducati where he’s spent most of it – in the gravel
Alex Marquez
Ended his average time with Honda where he’s spent most of it – in the gravel
Pol Espargaro
Ended his disappointing Honda ride where the bike’s wanted to go – in the gravel
Aleix Espargaro
Ended his disappointing end of the season where his ‘out of spares and cash’ team were destined – in the pitlane
Remi Gardner
Ended his unnoticed time in MotoGP where he’s spent most of it – somewhere unnoticed