Superlicenses are being mooted for MotoGP riders, because who hasn’t watched part of an F1 race and thought, “Hey, motorcycle racing should be more like this!” Here we look at some of the arguments for and against.
What is a superlicense?
It’s an idea that F1 teams came up with just to screw with each other by restricting the supply of talentless millionaire pay drivers. Basically, drivers aren’t allowed into F1 unless they fulfil various criteria about performance in lower categories. These rules are generally altered if they would prevent someone fast from getting into F1.
Have they done any good in F1?
Not really. They have done nothing to reduce either the number of crashes or the extreme punchability of the drivers.
Why are they being mooted as an addition to MotoGP?
Because Darren Binder is being brought straight from Moto3 to MotoGP despite being a menace to other riders who is nowhere near as talented as his brother Brad. The biltong-guzzling buffoon just destroyed the ending of the Moto3 world championship with one of his gazelle-brained moves.
Possible effects of Superlicenses
Let’s have a run down of the various effects of these licenses, and their pros and cons.
Keeping out riders who are slow in the lower classes
Pro: Keeps the next Bradley Smith out
Con: Keeps the next Fabio Quartararo out
Fab Fab sucked in the lower classes but is now a brilliant world champion.
Keeping out riders who crash a lot in the lower classes
Pro: Keeps the next Bradley Smith out
Con: Keeps the next Casey Stoner out
Casey was extremely quick in the lower classes, but crashed a ton. He is now a brilliant, if whiny, ex-world champion and one of the best riders ever.
Keeping out dangerous psychopaths who are a danger to other riders
Pro: Keeps the next Marc Marquez out
Con: Keeps the next Marc Marquez out
The Catalan Cannonball is one of the greatest riders of all time, but he’s also a total lunatic who keeps hitting his rivals.
How would superlicenses be introduced to MotoGP?
Riders in lower classes would be assessed according to stupid, made up rules that would be chucked in the bin if the next Valentino Rossi came along. Anyone who met the criteria would then be given a license to ride in MotoGP as long as they had the right passport and/or were the less talented brother of an existing MotoGP rider.
Would they make the sport safer or better?
No, of course not.
How would the system work?
Superlicenses would be introduced and the authorities would claim they worked brilliantly. When it became clear that they weren’t actually making any difference, potential MotoGP riders would be forced to apply for a second superlicense, then a third and possibly fourth. Anyone who expressed vague doubts that these superlicenses were actually helping the safety of the sport would be punished with extreme abuse and banned from Twitter.