The punishment should fit the criminal. Here is our solution to the current MotoGP punishment debacle. A fair, balanced and easy to understand system where the punishment is graded to match the lunacy of the offender.
Our Proposal
In our system, riders will be divided into 5 levels of sanity and punished accordingly.
Level 1: Escaped Lunatic
Example: Marc Marquez
Riders at this level are highly accomplished at causing mayhem. They should not be heavily sanctioned for hitting other riders as they know exactly what they’re doing. Causing a major pile-up is just a minor slip by their standards.
Punishments:
Pushing opponent wide: No penalty
Opponent loses places: No penalty
Colliding with opponent: No penalty
Causing 1 rider to crash: No penalty
Causing 2+ riders to crash: Long Lap
Level 2: Hooligan
Example: Brad Binder
Level 2 riders are competent at making strong but safe passes. It’s not a collision, it’s just a bit of rubbing. And rubbin’, son, is racin’. (Penalties should be reduced if the rider is travelling completely sideways at the time of the infringement).
Punishments:
Pushing opponent wide: No penalty
Opponent loses places: No penalty
Colliding with opponent: Drop 1 place
Causing 1 rider to crash: Long Lap
Causing 2+ riders to crash: Double Long Lap
Level 3: Bit of a Nutter
Example: Taka Nakagami
By this point riders are generally sane but with brief bursts of lunacy. They should be discouraged from racing too hard in case they lose their mind on a more permanent basis. (Punishment should be reduced if offender is riding a rubbish bike that’s impossible to overtake on and hits a Ducati).
Punishments:
Pushing opponent wide: No penalty
Opponent loses places: Drop 1 place
Colliding with opponent: Long Lap
Causing 1 rider to crash: Double Long Lap
Causing 2+ riders to crash: 6 place Grid Penalty
Level 4: Safe Rider
Example: Aleix Asparagus
Riders in this category rarely make dodgy overtakes and should be strongly discouraged from racing too hard as they are completely out of their element. (Punishment should be reduced if the rider bursts into tears at the press conference).
Punishments:
Pushing opponent wide: Drop 1 place
Opponent loses places: Long Lap
Colliding with opponent: Double Long Lap
Causing 1 rider to crash: 6 place Grid Penalty
Causing 2+ riders to crash: Start from Back of Grid
Level 5: Big Girl’s Blouse
Example: Pecco Bananas
In this category are riders who only ever make clean overtakes, or possibly even fall off when merely thinking about overtaking. Brushing past an opponent shows that they are dangerously out of control and should be harshly sanctioned as they haven’t the slightest idea what they’re doing in this situation. (Punishment should be increased if an opponent angrily waves an arm at the offender).
Punishments:
Pushing opponent wide: Long Lap
Opponent loses places: Double Long Lap
Colliding with opponent: 6 place Grid Penalty
Causing 1 rider to crash: Start from Back of Grid
Causing 2+ riders to crash: Kiss Max Biaggi
Conclusion
This system should be implemented immediately as it will regularize all punishments, removing the need for any complaints on social media whatsoever.