Marc Marquez and Fabio Quartarararo are two of MotoGP’s top riders – even more so now Bradley Smith isn’t riding. And, worryingly for their respective teams, both star riders have recently been making noises of ditching the House of the Rising Beansprout for a move to Ducati.
But why? Let’s find out.
Last season’s bike
Marc Marquez
In 2022 the evil Honda corporation pressed their collective noodles together to produce a bike so truly evil that it made Mindy Kaling seem acceptable. It wasn’t supposed to be evil. It was supposed to be a motorcycle ‘for everyone’ where any rider, any age and of any ability could perform well on it.
But it wasn’t. They changed a bike that only Marquez could ride into a bike that not even Marquez could ride. In fact the Spaniard hated it so much that he decided to have extensive and painful surgery mid-season to avoid having to ride it.
Fabio Quartarararo
Last year’s Yamaha wasn’t a bad motorcycle, it just wasn’t very good. Suzuki, Aprilia and especially Ducati had been working hard before the season had started in developing their machines to go faster and turn better.
Yamaha, meanwhile, after coming off a championship win decided the best policy was not to bother changing anything. Which conveniently left the engineers more time to watch Manga and spend their not-hard earned Yen on underwear from vending machines.
However this lack of enthusiasm by the Japanese firm become obvious as the 2022 season unfolded. The Yamaha just wasn’t fast enough to keep up. “Oh but it’s sweet handling” rebuffed the Japs in blue. But so is a Suzuki Goose 350 but it wouldn’t win a race.
This season’s bike so far
Marc Marquez
Initial signs are not good. Honda are said to have been busy working on new ideas and dumping the bodies of the engineers that had the old ideas in the Tokyo Harbour. They’ve even taken the hugely dishonourable step of asking outside suppliers, such as Kalex with their swingarm, to help them such is their desire to save their flattish faces.
But despite this the Honda is still said to be a bit evil. Maybe not quite as bad as the 2022 heap. More like a Boris Becker now instead of a Jos Verstappen.
Fabio Quartarararo
Towards the end of last season Frenchie Fab had his first taste of the 2023 Yamaha. And he was so ecstatic with the power of the new YZR-M1 that his beret shot up vertically, twisted jauntily, and landed back on his garlic-infused bonce at a comical angle. But the joke was on Fabio…as the bike was a fake.
The actual 2023 bike that he tested after the season ended was more or less the same bike he’d been struggling with all season. Slow and blue. It was rumoured that one Yamaha engineer did have an idea on how to improve the power – but it died of loneliness.
What’s been said?
Marc Marquez
On the subject of changing teams:
“So, yeah, for the future we will see. You never know. As I say, Honda is Honda, it’s my dream to stay in Honda. But my biggest dream is to win championships.”
Which translates to:
“I want to stay with Honda as I can’t be bothered with the hassle of changing, but if they remain rubbish then I’ll do a runner to Ducati”
Fabio Quartarararo
On the subject of his current situation:
“My job is to think about the present and to do my best in it. I want to have the best package available and be in the project that suits me best.”
Which translates to:
“I want to have the best package available and be in the project that suits me best – and by ‘package’ I mean ‘the fastest bike’ and by ‘project’ I mean ‘team with the fastest bike’”
So probably not Yamaha then.
Why would they stay?
Marc Marquez
Money. Honda has a lot of it thanks to their lawnmower sales. And if the evil HRC corporation knows anything it’s how to pay the best rider/driver hideous amounts to hide their laughable inept abilities to build a chassis.
Fabio Quartarararo
Loyalty. Having the loyalty of a Frenchman is usually as beneficial as Photoshopping an image with a calculator. However in Yamaha’s case Fabio’s loyalty is worth his weight in foie gras.
Quartarararo is currently willing to stay with the team that gave him his first MotoGP win and championship in the hope they can turn it around for him. But if they don’t, and Quartarararo goes, they’ll be left with the nightmare prospect of Franky Morbidelli heading their charge from the back.