The Japanese race saw a lot more lost than gained. So, in a twist to give a boost of life to a tired format, we’re starting with the losers…
Losers
Aleix Espargaro
Limp Mode is a system on cars that limits the maximum speed in case of an engine problem. It’s been carefully crafted to be at a speed slightly faster than walking but slow enough to cause maximum disruption behind. In recent years technology has moved on to such a point that a car can now detect areas of heavy traffic to apply Limp Mode and thus making you the most hated person in a two mile radius. Once finally out of traffic the engine will almost certainly fix itself and Limp Mode will be cancelled.
But as irritating as that is Aprilia’s Limp Mode will have annoyed Aleix Espargaro even more. Whilst on the warm up lap the poor Spaniard’s bike went into fuel saving mode – a feature primarily used on their scooters to allow the rider to deliver more pizzas between fill ups.
Once in ‘eco mode’ the stubborn Italian bike, in conjunction with the questionable Italian electronics, meant poor Aleix couldn’t exit the setting. He furiously clicked on the little cross in the corner but instead it just opened more pop-up messages about winning the lottery.
A furious Espargaro crawled into the pitlane, only dreaming of breaking the speed limit, dropped his bike on the floor and leapt onto his spare bike to start the race behind the safety car (also known as the ‘Bradly Smith Region’).
But that’s not where his problems ended. Because no one at Aprilia was expecting this to happen his spare bike was on the wrong compound of tyre. Why bother doing all that hard work when you can read some newly acquired dirty manga comic books instead?
Starting at the back and on the wrong tyres meant that ultimately the elder Asparagus brother rode his heart out for absolutely nothing.
Aleix Espargaro
It gets worse for poor Espargaro. This was the actual day that his championship attack could have been thrust into pole position as his two main rivals were rubbish.
In a line stolen straight from Cal Crutchlow Aleix claimed he could have ‘100% won the race’ if it were not for the issues. Whether or not he’d have beaten Miller is questionable but a podium looked very likely.
Francesco Bagnaia
Having scored 120 points out of a possible 125 in the last five races it’s fair to say that newly sobered up Bagnaia was going into this weekend as favourite.
But it was not to be. Ducati’s bearded saviour was curiously off the pace all race languishing around the 9th place region. But in the final laps he found some speed and set about catching his title rival Fabio Quartararararo – who himself was having an off-day.
(You know it’s a crap race when the main excitement is over 8th place)
Into the final lap and Pecco went ‘Ibiza’ and crashed into a ditch…almost taking a Frenchman with him.
Having picked himself up Bagnaia sarcastically clapped himself knowing his foolhardy mistake…whilst his crew looked shocked then sarcastic clapped him.
Joan Mir
Joan Mir was once known for his consistency. It’s what won him a MotoGP title – according to Wikipedia. But since the management at Suzuki decided earlier in the year that they were stinking quitters poor Joan’s lost his mojo…and his balance. Even his teammate Alex Rins, a rider prone to an upside-down experience or two, has been sniggering at Mir’s tarmac tussles.
These crashes meant that Mir decided in Aragon that he was too injured to ride the bike. He also decided that Japan was a long way away so would also be very injured for that race too.
So, whilst sat on the sofa shovelling in slices of Tarta De Santiago and watching the race, what did Joan see? The test rider Kazuki Watanabe blow up his bike and costing him an engine allocation.
Darryn Binder
We’re constantly informed by the English speaking commentators that their favourite Darryn Binder has done more than enough to earn a second year in MotoGP. This is usually backed up with a reminder of his 10th place in the rain in Indonesia.
But what’s then overlooked is the fact that the rubbish-Binder has only finished in the points one other time. And, crucially, most of the times when he didn’t finish in the points (which was most times) he finished in the gravel.
Japan was no exception. Darryn fell off. His ‘Divebomb’ tactics suddenly don’t work when he’s on a MotoGP machine.
Sadly Darryn doesn’t deserve to be in MotoGP next year and, given his brother’s splendid results, looks like being a ‘difficult second album’ and thus added to the less-achieving younger brother list with Alex Marquez, Ralf Schumacher and Edmund Hitler.
Japan
Again MotoGP put on a ‘so-so’ performance. Obviously the respectful Oriental crown were hardly likely to voice their anger at the lack of premier-class entertainment with a screaming public tofu fight but you could sense their disappointment. Even worse, maybe, than the time the ‘used lady’s underwear’ vending machine failed and went into limp-mode.
Winners
Jack Miller
What actually happened here? If before the race we were told that one factory Ducati rider would absolutely dominate whilst the other hovered around the 8th place mark before falling off not many MotoGP viewers would have chosen this outcome. And those that did would probably need to experiment with different dosages.
Jack Miller wasn’t just good – he was totally dominant. The Australian, who has to have all door knobs removed to stop him choking, used the cunning tactic of just been faster than everyone else on all areas of the track. No rider could get close to the times Miller was constantly doing with ease.
The big question is – why did he wait until now to be this fast?
Brad Binder
A typical weekend for Brad is:
- Qualify okay.
- Start brilliantly.
- Tag onto the leaders.
- Finish better than a KTM ever should.
Second place frankly seems bizarre on a bike that could easily be the worst on the grid.
KTM
They may have arguably the worst bike on the grid but their rider finished second. And their new rider for next year finished first. Have a Redbull.
Franco Morbidelli
Having Franky on the ‘Winners’ list seems as improbable as having a Scotsman on a ‘likeable’ list. But Morbidelli, by the skin of his haircut, just managed it.
Of course the Italian was awful again. But awful is the new average for the Yamaha rider. But what Morbidelli really didn’t want was the pesky test rider Cal ‘Crutches’ Crutchlow beating him again.
The gob-jockey Englishman has replaced Dovi for the rest of the season and, in all honesty, instantly looked like Yamaha’s second best rider. Franky needed to address this and show the upstart Crutchlow that when it comes to being Yamaha’s best also-ran – he’s the least worst of them all.
And Morbidelli did do just that. By 0.2 seconds.
A win’s a win.