In this episode of the smackdown, we compare Yamaha’s two worst riders at Mugello. Andrea Dovizioso and Franco Morbidelli battle it out to see which one’s Johnny Depp and which is Amber Heard.
Mugello
The Italian track is fast and scary. The crowd is huge and enthusiastic, except if Rossi just retired and the ticket prices are ridiculous. In that case, the crowd is sparse and the atmosphere is flatter than a graph of Bradley Smith’s world championship points over time.
Franky vs Dovi
Both of them are Italians, and both of them got soundly spanked by Darryn “Bouncing Bomb” Binder in the race.
Personalities
Andrea Dovizioso “Dovi” is one of the smartest riders on the grid, and also one of the most boring. When he’s doing 210mph down the Mugello straight, he’s probably thinking about taking his Volvo to Ikea to buy a Böttiplöppen coffee table for the living room. Dovi also tends to be the mopey, brooding type.
Young Frankenstein “Franky” Morbidelli is much more charismatic. He hangs around with Valentino Rossi, which means he also hangs around with Uccio and therefore seems very slim and likeable. He’s half Brazilian, which makes him cooler than most people. Brazil is a country where people enjoy themselves by doing fun stuff like partying at the beach, robbing annoying tourists and chopping down rainforests. There’s no need for Brazilians to stress out about nonsense like race and gender, because 80% of the population are mixed-race transexuals anyway. Franky has become a bit more mopey lately due to his sore knee and atrocious results, though.
The Road to Success
Dovi took a fairly conventional route to MotoGP. He was born in North-Eastern Italy, which is full of motorcycle racers. He won the 125GP world championship, then finished runner up twice in 250GP to his sour-faced rival Horhay Lorenzo. After reaching MotoGP he had a lucky win in dodgy conditions, then many years later started winning on a Ducati. Then stopped winning on the Bolognese Bullet and got fired.
Franky had to do everything the hard way. His family moved from Rome to the North-East of Italy to be near all the racers. He raced in the lunatic asylum that was the old European Superstock 600 championship, winning the title. He switched to Moto2 and went on to become World Champ. By 2020 he was in his 3rd year of MotoGP. Riding an ancient Yamaha, he finished 2nd in the championship with 3 victories and seemed like becoming a huge star due to his talent, personality and unruly mop of hair. Unfortunately in 2021 his knee fell off and he hasn’t been the same since.
Paths cross
When Maverick Vinales went totally insane and was fired in mid 2021, Franky was promoted to the factory Yamaha squad. Yamaha seemed to think that a rider with a mangled knee was better than one with a mangled brain, although they probably regret that decision now.
Dovi was brought in to replace Franky in the satellite Yamaha team.
Plummeting into obscurity
This year, both of these Italian riders have plummeted to earth harder than the meteorite that wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago (for readers in Texas, this happened approximately 4,000 years ago).
Fabio Quartararararo has destroyed both of them every time out. There’s no point whining about how bad the Yamaha is when a crazy frog is leading the World Championship on it. The Mugello race was a true humiliation for both of them. Dovi qualified last, and may as well just have packed up and gone home. Franky was outraced by Darryn Binder, who nobody thinks deserves his ride and who had a long lap penalty to serve too.
The Future
Dovi is ancient history in MotoGP. Nobody is going to hire him next year. Franky will be back, as he has a contract signed before his knee exploded. Baby Binder arguably deserves a seat in MotoGP next year more than Franky, because Franky has been proven to suck on the current Yamaha and Michelin combo, while Darryn has been gradually improving and has hardly crashed into anyone.