Can you believe it’s all about to start again? In a world that quite frankly is utterly rubbish at the moment it seems quite strange that MotoGP is all ready to kick off again this weekend.
Like everyone we’re not prepared in any way. So, with that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of stuff we don’t know and why we don’t know it.
Will Quartarararo be happy?
The MotoGP world champion and first brave Frenchman in over two decades may have been collaborating with his countrymen over the off-season and has come out moaning.
His main beef, with the exception of the butter content in the palmiers in the Yam canteen, is the relative slow speed of his bike compared to his rivals. Ducati, Honda and even Aprilia have wasted no time over the winter in attempting to squeeze more power out of their engines.
However Yamaha’s philosophy has always been to prioritise sweet handling over horsepower – a crafty idea that means less hot and stressful days bench-testing engines in a lab and more dicking around pulling wheelies and eating noodles on the test track.
But will it be enough to keep the Habsburg dynasty rider in with a shout of the title? And, more importantly, keep him happy? We all know that when Fabio’s unhappy he suddenly has all the social skills and etiquette of a wasp at a picnic.
Will Ducati’s ‘more is better’ idea give them the world title?
“If you can’t say better say bigger” – it’s a motto that has served Uccio well over the years but also Ducati too. As explained here Ducati are flooding the grid with loads of their shape-shifting ugly brutes that terrorise our eyes.
Why? The theory is simple:
- More riders more data.
- More riders more riders to block Quartarararo whilst Bagnaia makes a break for it at the front.
- More riders more chance of finding a new hidden talent to replace Jack Miller next season.
The ultimate aim though is to win the world championship – something they’ve not managed since Casey Stoner in 2007. They’ve come within a Fettuccine width of it so many times since then.
Will this be their year?
Will Marc Marquez’s get something in his eye again?
A few years ago it was almost a given that Crutchlow would break a few hundred bones and Marc Marquez would win the world championship without trying. But 2022 is a very different place.
Crutchlow now lives happily on a hippy retreat eating only protein supplements and Marc Marquez’s title hopes are greeted with a lot of shoulder shrugging…which is a tad ironic given his past.
The problem is that Marc isn’t indestructible. Millions and millions of crashes over his career have loosened the once tight bolts of the Spaniard’s carcass leaving him now vulnerable to even the slightest mishap. Remember when he flushed the toilet a tad over-enthusiastically and lost use of his arm for months? Or the end of last year when he fell off his motocross bike and his eye fell out?
Can he manage a season without injury? We somehow doubt it.
Are Aprilia not going to be rubbish?
Why, before every season starts, do we think ‘this could be Aprilia’s year’? Maybe we just don’t learn our lessons like the impatient fat kid who suffers more third degree burns on his tongue biting into a McDonalds nuclear fusion apple pie. But after so much pre-season excitement Aprilia end up with a bike more suited to baboon riding it with a swirly hat and large lollipop.
Once again Aprilia looked strong in testing. Once again they’ve been at the very pointy end of the timesheets. And once again they’ve convinced us that this really could be their breakthrough year.
But let’s be honest it won’t will it? Or will it? I know nothing anymore.
Finally – the big one! Who’s going to be the 2022 world champion?