Last week’s race was terrible. A distant collection of stuff that never happened. Recap? Really? Well here you go:
So we turn up in the middle of winter to Valencia for the final race that no one’s really bothered about anymore. You all know the score by now. I list some riders that could win and you skip over it and vote for who you want regardless.
So, instead, here’s a quick review of riders that won’t win:
Marc Marquez
He’s not winning because he’s not turning up. Again.
Takaaki Nakagami
Taka’s been pretty dreadful all season. If you were to compile the Japanese rider’s highlights and place them in a box you’d be left with something less populated than the Boötes void.
Aleix Espargaró
Mid-season Aleix and his stealthy Aprilia looked like they’d bridged the gap between themselves and the non-rubbish teams. Then Vinales joined and everyone gave up trying and instead focused on throwing stuff at Maverick’s dad.
Valentino Rossi
It’s the last ever race for the once-legendary Italian. And what better way to leave MotoGP than claiming his 200th podium? Sadly it’s not looking good. Bookmakers are giving such long odds that if you were to win a one Euro bet on Rossi taking the top step at Valencia you’d bankrupt the planet.
Johann Zarco
Everyone can win on the 2021 Ducati. Except Johann.
Andrea Dovizioso
When Dovi was busy being the top MotoGP bridesmaid riding for Ducati we often wondered how the smooth style of the Italian would gel with the fine handling Yamaha. Surely a match made in fantasy heaven.
Now we know. He’s rubbish. Luckily we have another season to find this out more.
A KTM rider
KTM are tapering off faster than me with this article.
Okay I’m out. So, in a change to the advertised programme, who do you think will put in the worst/most embarrassing performance in Valencia?
How did you do last time?
Your selected winner: Pecco Bagnaia (14%)
We’re finally getting the hang of this!
Special Mention: I liked the 90’s as casual racism was acceptable (32%)
True. And we also had Weekend at Bernie’s.