MotoGP returned to its homeland of Spain after leaving the cathedral of yellow muppetry at Silverstone. How did the riders fare? Let’s find out!
Top ten riders out of ten:
Pecco Bananas – 10 out of 10
Until now, Pecco has been infuriatingly random. At Aragon, he finally achieved the victory that he should’ve managed about a year ago. The hugely talented young Italian rode a perfect race. Absolutely perfect, he didn’t put a foot wrong all weekend. A stunning victory for the Rossi protege, and surely the first of many.
Marc Marquez – 9 out of 10
He’s back, folks!!! The Human Torpedo, the Catalan Cannonball, the Master of Disaster, the Ayatolla of Ramming People And Inexplicably Not Getting A Grid Penalty At The Next Race… Marc Marquez!!! But not the old Marc who kept ramming Valentino and getting away with it. The old Marc who kept trying to beat Dovi but kept getting his ass kicked. Tried to ram Pecco no less than 7 times but missed him every time and finished second. Anyway, a great performance and it looks like Marc is back.
Joan Mir – 9 out of 10
Nearly 4 seconds back from the leaders, but that was on a Suzuki that yet again didn’t have a pole squat device. He’s a great rider on a bike that’s just not quite as fast as the others. Another excellent performance from the (checks notes) 2020 World MotoGP Champion.
Aleix Asparagus – 8 out of 10
The elder Asparagus brother has always been brilliant but random. Lately he’s been getting more brilliant and less random.
Jackass Miller – 8 out of 10
Struggled with changing gear, so 5th place was a pretty decent result for the Aussie.
Enea Bastianini – 8 out of 10
The youngster has been one of the best rookies of the season, but finishing 6th was a stunning result. Looks like a real star of the future.
Brad Binder – 7 out of 10
The South African may be struggling a little as the Spanish authorities refused to let him shoot any endangered animals in the local zoo. However, he was still top KTM and finished less than 3 tenths behind Bastianini.
Fabio Quartararararararo – 7 out of 10
The not-that-crazy frog arrived at Aragon saying that it wasn’t his best track. Then he said he probably wouldn’t go too well. Then he only finished 8th in the race. Then he suddenly claimed that his rear tyre was faulty. Okaaayyyyy…
Jorge Martin – 7 out of 10
Recovered well from being torpedoed by Marquez at the last round. Finished almost wheel to wheel with Quartarararo. Solid result.
Taka Nakagami – 7 out of 10
Finishing less than half a second behind the 8th place finisher, Taka had a good race. Might not deserve a year’s supply of free noodles from Honda, but 6 months would be fair.
Selected other riders:
Iker Lecuona – 6 out of 10
The Spanish youngster is going fairly well now that he’s been sacked. Hopefully his good form will earn him a top ride in World Supers.
Cal Crutchlow – 8 out of 10
Finished out of the points in 16th, but he has made it clear that he’s no longer a racer, he’s a test rider. In his recent replacement rides, he has stunned the paddock by suffering zero crashes. As a racer, he rarely went more than 2 practise sessions without rolling the bike into a ball and ending up in hospital. It’s great to see the loudmouthed loudmouth excel as a tester.
Johann Zarco – 3 out of 10
The former championship challenger has folded like Superman on laundry day.
Maverick Vinales – 6 out of 10
Showing up and racing on a bike that he only just tried out was ballsy as hell. But he didn’t go that well on it, finishing 18th. He’s a huge talent, so we want more than this.
Valentino Rossi – 8 out of 10
Sucked in the race because he can’t get to grips with this year’s crazy tyres. But his protege Pecco Bananas won the race and kicked Marc Marquez’s ass. That’s definitely worth extra points.
MotoGP racing – 9 out of 10
It was a great race with a really exciting last couple of laps. And there was no idiotic track limits BS this time out. Plus, Pecco was the 8th different winner of the season. The only people to win more than 1 race this year are Frog Fabio Quartarararo (5 wins) and Aussie Jackass Miller (2 wins). Who will win the remaining races of the season? Who the hell knows???
The Aragon Wall – 10 out of 10
Coolest. Wall. Ever.