We at MPGN aren’t real journalists. We just copy and paste the team’s official press releases and compile them. This allows us to pretend we’re knowledgeable. We’re also really smart in hindsight.
Yamaha
F. Quartararo (1st)
“Anyone got the number for a decent shrink?”
F. Morbidelli (4th)
“Yamaha have said I need to change my number from 21 to 19”
M. Viñales (11th)
“Well this all feels rather familiar”
V. Rossi (DNF)
Via Rossi Fanclub
“We still have plenty of ‘Vale: Sunday Man’ t-shirts available in our sale”
Ducati
F. Bagnaia (2nd)
“Happy with the result and happy to get a complementary hamper of chorizo from my good mate Jorge Lorenzo as his Ducati rider of the day”
E. Bastianini (9th)
“My brother sells carpet insurance…yet I managed to finish in the top ten.”
L. Marini (12th)
“C’mon guys I’m Vale’s half-brother – that surely entitles me to at least one special tyre?”
J. Zarco (DNF)
“I feel the need to re-read ‘Le scaphandre et le papillon’ again”
J. Miller (DNF)
“Despite being a rider that has to force my opinion on everything I’m not actually going to mention the race. Or the clash with Mir either.”
J.Martin
Via Rossi Fanclub
“Next time he’ll think twice before running off his mouth about the GOAT”
Suzuki
J. Mir (3rd)
“Yeah it was pretty funny when Rins fell off.”
Á. Rins (DNF)
“At least I was trying”
KTM
B. Binder (5th)
“Pretty happy with that. Not ‘go on safari and shoot an elephant’ happy but certainly a medium sized giraffe”
I. Lecuona (15th)
Via MotoGPNews
“Who is this? Google doesn’t bring us back any helpful results”
M. Oliveira (16th)
“Think I’m going to clear my head by going home and taking my pet jellyfish for a stroll by the sea.”
Aprilia
A. Espargaró (6th)
“To be fair I don’t know if I’m decent or not either.”
L. Savadori (14th)
“That’s another two points in the bag! Were you watching Bradley?”
Honda
M. Márquez (7th)
“I think my good friend Valentino Rossi made a great race today…”
Á. Márquez (8th)
Via LCR Honda
“What are we supposed to do with all these spare fairings we brought?”
T. Nakagami (10th)
“My beansprout is honoured to welcome back the great Yokozuna to our stable even though I badly bent my own Pak Choi in FP4”
P. Espargaró (DNF)
“I’m not saying this bike is tailor-made for Marc but when I started to catch him it mysteriously broke down for the first time ever”