It’s the news no MotoGP rider or anyone dressed in yellow wanted to hear – Marc Marquez has been cleared to ride again. Furthermore he’s going to Qatar for the opening race! But can he win the 2021 title? You tell us!
It all went tits-up last year when Marc fell off trying to recover from almost falling off in the opening race. At the time no one really took much notice as we were all pre-occupied with joyous thoughts that we’d seen off Coronavirus and that the world would be soon back to normal.
Sadly it wasn’t to be. As the planet once more got to grips with having to create a coping strategy for another 6 months stuck indoors with kids Marc had other bigger issues to deal with:
- Marc’s gravel-fling bent off his shoulder bone that injury needed surgery to fix.
- The surgeon in charge of Marc’s operation had had a few too many sherbets the night before so was a tad shaky when attempting the corrective surgery. This led to a botched effort that needed to be fixed.
- This time the surgery was completed by the work-experience guy who bodged his shoulder even more.
- Then to fix the bodged, bodged surgery some guy in Sete Gibernau t-shirt had a crack using a screwdriver and some mole-grips he’d borrowed off his uncle. By now his shoulder was in such a mess that every time he tried to lift his arm his sleep itched.
- Finally, mid-recovery of recovering from his recovery, recovery surgery Marquez re-snapped his shoulder trying the flush the toilet after troublesome batch of Longaniza de Pascua had run a total-loss system through his sphincter.
And that was the end of Marc Marquez’s 2020 season. Quite literally flushed away. Worse still it looked like it could easily be the end of his career.
One of the more disturbing aspects of Marc’s injury is the number of videos of him training in just his pants.
“He looks like a total muscle-bound freak. Even with one good arm and a flapper” explained one viewer”
Our scientific panel in the MGPN labs believe Marc’s physique is exactly what Uccio’s would look like if he’s chosen to do the exact opposite of every decision in his life.
“When the cat’s away the mice will play.”
With Marquez out and unable to win every race suddenly other lesser-riders started chirping up and winning races – the likes of whom had never have stood a chance before. And its this ‘feel good factor’ had overspilled into 2021 with nearly all the riders believing that Marc would be confined to a lifetime of watching reruns of Telenovela.
But all that changed when the decent Marquez brother send balloon-knots twitching as he stated that he was fit to ride and was going to Qatar.
Before the announcement Joan Mir, who according to Wikipedia is the current MotoGP World Champion, even went on record stating that he considered himself favourite for the title. After the announcement, however, Mir’s optimism looked to had receded as he started slashing the prices of his World Champion embossed merchandise with the aim of replicating the classic past Suzuki mono-champions Kevin Schwantz and KRJR.
Meanwhile it could be one-in-one-out at the Marquez villa as Marc’s younger brother, Ralf Schumarquez, managed to break one of the bones in his foot during the Qatar tests. It’s suggested he was using Cal Crutchlow’s data when the accident happened.
However in true Ralf style his damage appears to be a watered-down, crappier version of Marc’s epic, bone-crumbling shoulder injury.